Disappointment to Disappointment: I Can't Wait to See What Tomorrow Holds

Manny Ramirez: the latest MLB steroid casualty. At this point, I can't say that I'm surprised but I sure am disappointed. He was a superstar, but not a superhuman; his numbers were strong enough to make him one of the greats, but not so much so that you would immediately assume that he was juiced. Career high home runs? 45, twice, 1998 with Cleveland and 2005 with the Red Sox. Career high batting average? .351, in 2000, his last season as an Indian. Overall numbers (15+ seasons, including 2009 games): 2400+ hits, 533 home runs, .315 average. Not so far removed from, for example, the great Frank Robinson (2943 hits, 586 home runs, .294 batting average), whose irritation with being passed by Barry Bonds on the all-time home run list is starting to seem more and more reasonable with every new revelation. McGwire, Bonds, Clemens, A-Rod, Manny; major league baseball is now only marginally more legitimate than pro wrestling, and that is indeed a sad development.

The revelations about Manny were the second major disappointment I suffered in the past 24 hours. Prior to that, I was trying to go two-for-two with excellent Mexican ("Mexcellent"?) food by following our completely satisfying trip to Mission Burrito with Adobe Cafe (1919 East Passyunk Ave, South Philly, (215) 483-3947). But this wasn't just a post-home run strikeout; our dinner at Adobe was like following a homer by lining into an unassisted triple play.

First things first. Upon opening the front door, we were greeted by a strong bleach smell and a total absence of waitstaff. Not a good sign. Five minutes passed before we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood and come back later, thinking that maybe they were just opening late after a long Cinco de Mayo celebration the night before. Poor form, but things looked up a bit upon our return. The bartender gave us a friendly greeting and seated us immediately, our waitress was cheerful and personable (and totally shared Jessica's haircut!), the menu had an extensive selection of veg/vegan options, and the chips and salsa were better than average. Reread the previous sentence; it's the last positive thing I'm going to say for the rest of this review.

We ordered two meals, seitan enchiladas and a fire-roasted tofu sandwich. I don't even know where to start with the sandwich. The entire thing was a mess. The tofu, other than black grill marks on both sides, had minimal seasoning and no flavor. "Cooked" like that, it's no wonder that carnivores make fun of us. Hoping to salvage it, I spooned on a liberal dose of the cilantro pesto sauce. One bite and, no joke, I thought I was going to hurl right there on the table. Either that pesto was spoiled or that chef needs to consider alternate career options. Truly one of the foulest tastes I've ever encountered. On the bright side, the fries were at least edible, if wholly unremarkable.

The enchiladas were better in comparison, but that's not saying much. The tortillas were soggy, the seitan was overcooked, tough, and chewy, and the sauce was only lukewarm. I'm actually fairly certain that the sauce came right out of a can, but I'm having a hard time putting my finger on the brand. Much the same could be said for the beans and rice on the side; they looked and tasted like they were right off a supermarket shelf, without even a minimal effort made to customize or alter the flavors. This was simultaneously annoying and relieving - annoying, because I didn't drive to South Philly for a store-bought taste; relieving, because unlike most of the rest of the food we ordered, these items were at least somewhat tasty.

The bill, including tip, came out to $30. For that same money, we could have easily gotten two equally filling and exponentially better-tasting meals at Fu-Wah, or just gotten groceries and cooked at home, with leftovers. Either would have made for a far more enjoyable meal. I can't say that this was the worst meal I've ever eaten, believe it or not, but it was easily in the top five. Avoid at all costs. [[justin]]