Snack Foods and the Construction of Language

True story: when I first considered going vegan, I asked my friend Matt (aka Vegan Matt) a lot of questions: what can you eat besides vegetables; is it hard to go out to restaurants; do you have to spend a lot more on groceries; and so on. The types of questions that we all have/had when making this decision. So he's telling me about the different meat substitutes available - tempeh, TVP, tofu, Satan - and in my mind, I'm like, "Whoa! Hold up. Vegans eat something called 'Satan'? That is so metal! I'm sold!" In my mind's eye, I had visions - beautiful, sweet visions - of meatless cookouts with the guys from Slayer. Composting with Opeth. Community gardening with Metallica (not Lars, though; that dude seems a little too high-strung for me). God, it was going to be so very awesome.

Can you guess how disappointed I was when I learned the awful truth about homonyms that day?

Flash forward two years and I'm in the natural foods aisle at Giant when I stumble across Primal Strips *ahem* Seitan *sigh* Thai Peanut Jerky. I love seitan. I love Thai food. I love peanuts. How could I resist a purchase?

The first thing I noticed is that you pretty much need to have the upper arm strength of a professional arm wrestler to get the packaging open. Either that or just carry a small hunting knife with you because, seriously, you will sit in your car in the parking lot for ten minutes trying to tear the plastic into an opening sufficiently large enough to remove the food inside. So frustrating, but I'm pleased to report that it's well worth the effort. Each package has three thin strips of jerky, each about one inch by two inches - perfect for a personal snack or sharing with a friend. The peanut undertones of the seasoning complemented the seitan without overwhelming it, so it has a nice robust flavor but isn't terribly spicy like jerky often can be. Being a big fan of hot sauce and spice (and Spice Girls, but that's another story), I could have done with a bit more heat here, but this was by no means a dealbreaker. Like meat jerky, each strip is tough and chewy and will give you TMJ if you try to eat too much in one sitting. Also like meat jerky, it's greasy and will leave you in desperate need of a good hand-washing when you're finished. Unlike a lot of vegan snacks, you could probably feed this to a carnivore and get a positive reaction but I hope I'm wrong about that; if they don't like it, more for us! [[justin]]