Pow.

Q. How much do I love that this guy is our President right now?
A. So much so that it's impossible to quantify. [[justin]]

In The Midnight Hour

from "Piled Higher and Deeper" by Jorge Cham (www.phdcomics.com)

Yes. So true. [[justin]]

The More Things Change ...

"Although economic growth after 1820 did not change the fundamental relationship between the cities and the countryside in the South, the change in the Northern cities was a veritable revolution in culture. Not only did the urban population of the Northeast expand at an unprecedented rate during the last four decades of the antebellum era, but nearly half that population was concentrated in just two cities. By 1860 Philadelphia's population exceeded a half million and New York's was close to a million. Such large cities made possible or promoted certain elements of high culture--music, literature, and theater--and were showcases for some of the most spectacular aspects of the new technology of the age, especially in transportation, communication, and commerce.

Yet it was not the achievements of these and other large cities but the severe new problems they posed that were foremost in American thought at the time. Philadelphia, New York, and other large cities were perceived as threats to social order; as breeders of disease, crime, violence, and moral decay; and as threats to American religious freedom and to popular democracy. Between 1790 and 1850 Northern life expectancies declined by 25 percent, and the decline in New York, Philadelphia, and other large cities was twice as great. Life expectancy at birth in New York and Philadelphia during the 1830s and 1840s averaged just 24 years, six years less than that of Southern slaves."
- Nobel Prize winner Robert W. Fogel, 1993, "Problems in modeling complex dynamic interactions: The political realignment of the 1850s"

I smell a slogan: "Philadelphia. We breed disease, crime, violence, and moral decay." [[justin]]

Separated at Birth?

Separated at birth? You be the judge. And bring me some damn peanuts while you're thinking about it. [[justin]]

I Need Another Holiday. Already.

As seen on the bathroom wall at Herbivore, Mission St., San Francisco (click the photo for larger image with more legible text). More vacation photos coming soon! [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 11 (#1-5)

This is it! Almost two weeks after we started this countdown, we're finally at the top of the charts. The top five greatest movies of all time. It was great fun making this list, even though the positioning got harder and harder as I got towards the top. There's no question that there's a much bigger difference between positions at the bottom. That is, I think that (for instance) The Fifth Element (#41) is way greater than Fletch (#42), but The Shawshank Redemption (#8) is only a tiny, tiny bit ahead of The Manchurian Candidate (#9). Today's list - the top five - was almost impossible to rank-order since every one of the five is flawless in its own way; you could order these in a completely different way and I probably wouldn't be able to put up much of a counter-argument.

But enough talk! Let's get to it.

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game
45. Saw
44. Shrek
43. The Hills Have Eyes
42. Fletch
41. The Fifth Element
40. True Romance
39. The Usual Suspects
38. The Dark Knight
37. Evil Dead II
36. Sin City
35. The Silence of the Lambs
34. Office Space
33. Minority Report
32. American Beauty
31. National Lampoon's Animal House
30. Saturday Night Fever
29. Pulp Fiction
28. Iron Man
27. Return of the Jedi
26. V for Vendetta
25. Caddyshack
24. Seven
23. Die Hard
22. Goldfinger
21. Dawn of the Dead
20. 28 Days Later
19. Boogie Nights
18. From Russia With Love
17. 12 Monkeys
16. The Godfather Part II
15. Shaun of the Dead
14. Reservoir Dogs
13. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
12. Star Wars
11. The Muppet Movie
10. The Matrix
09. The Manchurian Candidate
08. The Shawshank Redemption
07. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
06. Rocky

... and the top five greatest movies of all-time are ...

05. Goodfellas - I like mob movies as a genre, but it's hardly one that I would consider innovative - generally enjoyable, yes, (see also Casino, Donnie Brasco, The Departed) but there's not a whole lot new that can be said about family, honor, Las Vegas/Atlantic City, revenge, crime, informants, federal investigations, etc. Goodfellas triumphs not by redefining the genre, but by perfectly illustrating it. Simply put, there is not a frame, shot, edit, cut, sound, or word out of place in this movie. From the opening scene (Billy Batts in the trunk) to the final titles (describing what happened to everyone), Goodfellas never lets up for a moment, stacking awesome scene on top of awesome scene. To name just a few that come immediately mind: "... funny how? Funny like a clown, like I amuse you?"; Tommy and Spider at the card game; the Lufthansa heist at JFK (and Jimmy's ultimate revenge, set to "Layla"); "Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox."; Karen confronting Henry in bed with the pistol. The violence is explicit but never becomes gratuitous; the profanity adds to the realism without becoming a distraction; the characters are amoral socially but full of personal integrity, multidimensional and never stereotypical. Like I said, Goodfellas isn't breaking any new ground, but in this case, it's just as excellent to achieve formulaic perfection.
The Moral of the Story: Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.

04. Fight Club - David Fincher has only directed seven films; three of them made this list (see also The Game (#46) and Seven (#24)), but it's Fight Club that should be right at the top of his resume. It's gritty and dark, but also quite hilarious, and even at its most superficial moments it's working on a number of different levels. Sure, there's the surface story about Tyler Durden and the fight clubs, but there's also the sub-stories about escapism, modern-day notions of masculinity, consumer culture, power vs. submission, health, and love. I don't know of any other movie that works as hard or as successfully at involving the audience both indirectly (with a smart script, fast pacing, and great acting) and directly (Fight Club might be the most self-aware, meta-referential movie out there). The plot twist is about as good as they get, and I love how the voiceover narrative works as a third character within the plot and as the inner monologue for Edward Norton's onscreen character and as the embodiment of the fictional Jack ("I am Jack's smirking revenge," "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise," etc.). I guess the only criticism I have about Fight Club is that it's so brilliant that it makes almost every other movie look mediocre in comparison. But that's hardly a bad thing, is it?
The Moral of the Story: Don't let your possessions become your possessors.

03. The Empire Strikes Back - Without a doubt, this is my favorite movie of all-time. It's the one that I would pick if I could only watch one movie for the rest of my life, and the one I would pick if I were dying and knew that it would be the last one I'd ever see. I have seen and enjoyed The Empire Strikes Back more than any other movie; it blew me away when my parents took me to see it in the theater (summer 1980), it blew me away when Lucas redid the effects and re-released the trilogy in the "special edition" formats, and it's blown me away on every single VHS or DVD home viewing since its release. All of my Star Wars favorites are here: character (Yoda), minor character (Lobot!), planet (Hoth), dialogue (the Han-Leia "I love you - I know" exchange before the carbon freezing), chase scene (the Millenium Falcon in the asteroid field), ship (the AT-AT Walker), plot point ("Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father," duh), and "special edition" insert (the extended Wampa scene). Seriously, all I have to do is think about The Empire Strikes Back to get stoked on it. So why is it only number three? Well ... it's a sequel. One that is superior to the original in every way and one that stands on its own as a movie, to be sure - but would it blow your mind in the same way if you hadn't already seen Star Wars first? I don't know. Maybe not. So for that reason alone, I have to give a (very, very, very) slight advantage to the top two, which need no pre-story exposition whatsoever. But let me say for the record that The Empire Strikes Back will always, always be number one in my heart.
The Moral of the Story: You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family.

02. The Godfather - It may be impossible to say anything bad about Goodfellas (#5), but The Godfather is every bit as perfect and it came first. Every moment in this movie is legendary and, perhaps more than any other movie, has become fodder for both imitative flattery and parody. On the former, see every other Mafia movie ever made; on the latter, see, for instance, multiple Simpsons episodes (the best of which involves Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel getting revenge on the man who stole his fiance in a shot-by-shot reenactment of the tollbooth scene). In terms of cultural impact, very few movies have even one line that become part of the mainstream lexicon. The Godfather, on the other hand, has two that come to mind immediately: "I'm gonna make him an offer he won't refuse" and "Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes." And in terms of casting, this one's at the top of the game - Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton - and is only equalled by its sequel, which replaces Marlon Brando with Robert DeNiro (albeit playing the same character as Brando but in an earlier era). On top of all that, The Godfather stands out because its story is decidedly cerebral - not that it lacks in action or violence, but those elements are secondary to the plot rather than being primary plot points themselves. Cut those scenes and you've still got yourself a pretty fine movie, I think. That said, The Godfather - the second-greatest movie of all time- is perfect as it is and is definitely an offer you can't, and shouldn't refuse.
The Moral of the Story: No matter how hard we fight it, eventually we all become our parents.

01. Raiders of the Lost Ark - Some people probably expected something from the Star Wars trilogy to be number one, but no one should be surprised to find Harrison Ford in the starring role. Between 1977 and 1984, he built a legacy of greatness that no other actor can ever hope to match - Star Wars, Force 10 From Navarone, Apocalypse Now, The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Blade Runner, Return of the Jedi, and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - and his post-1984 career hasn't been so bad either (the other two Indiana Jones films, The Fugitive, his two roles as Jack Ryan in the Tom Clancy series). Good gravy. No wonder I middle-named my son after him! Boyhood hero worship aside, though, there is absolutely nothing bad that can be said about Raiders of the Lost Ark. Let's recap the plot's most awesome high points: "Throw me the idol, I throw you the whip"; the escape from the giant boulder in the temple; the jungle chase back to the seaplane; rescuing Marion (who, truth be told, probably didn't need a hell of a lot of extra help - talk about a kick-ass heroine!) in Nepal; ending up trapped in the Well of Souls ("Asps. Very dangerous. You go first."); the Nazi mechanic and the airplane propellor; the U-boat stowaway; the rocket launcher ("You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together. I've got nothing better to do."); the ceremonial opening of the Ark ... and I didn't even mention the fight with the swordsman in Cairo or the romance scene on the England-bound ship or the part where Indiana Jones is getting dragged behind the truck ("I don't know, I'm making this up as I go."). And let's not forget that this is the third-greatest theme music of all time (after only the Star Wars and James Bond series' main themes). But the true test of greatness is, I think, timelessness and Raiders of the Lost Ark has that in excess. After The Empire Strikes Back (#3), this is my second-most watched movie and it never gets any less thrilling. In fact, knowing what's coming next - and how totally freaking awesome it's going to be - actually seems to increase the anticipation and excitement after multiple viewings. Raiders of the Lost Ark is the first movie I ever showed Jett (during a late-night bottle feeding when he was about a month old), partly because I wanted to watch it and partly because I wanted to start him off right. And what better way to do that than with a "screening" of the number one greatest movie of all time?
The Moral of the Story: Never bring a sword to a gunfight.

There it is. The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time. Enjoy! [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 10 (#6-10)

Once again, a recap:

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game
45. Saw
44. Shrek
43. The Hills Have Eyes
42. Fletch
41. The Fifth Element
40. True Romance
39. The Usual Suspects
38. The Dark Knight
37. Evil Dead II
36. Sin City
35. The Silence of the Lambs
34. Office Space
33. Minority Report
32. American Beauty
31. National Lampoon's Animal House
30. Saturday Night Fever
29. Pulp Fiction
28. Iron Man
27. Return of the Jedi
26. V for Vendetta
25. Caddyshack
24. Seven
23. Die Hard
22. Goldfinger
21. Dawn of the Dead
20. 28 Days Later
19. Boogie Nights
18. From Russia With Love
17. 12 Monkeys
16. The Godfather Part II
15. Shaun of the Dead
14. Reservoir Dogs
13. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
12. Star Wars
11. The Muppet Movie

We're getting close to the top!

10. The Matrix - If The Matrix had nothing else going for it besides its effects, it still would have landed on this list. The "bullet time" sequences are an elegant update of action, Hong Kong style. The first fight - Trinity vs. the police - is one of the most jaw-droppingly awesome battles ever seen and just when you thought it couldn't get better, it does: the training programs; Morpheus' rescue; the climactic showdown between Neo and Agent Smith. On top of that, it's impossible to say enough about the set design - the real-world looks like, well, the real world, and the matrix itself looks just as cold, bleak, and lifeless as one would imagine it to be - and the costumes, especially the 1950s suits on the Agents. Simply superb, but The Matrix is more than just stunning visuals. It's also a well-crafted, brainy piece of modern existentialist philosophy; much like V for Vendetta (#26), I'd be stunned if this wasn't part of someone's film studies or philosophy course somewhere. Given how terrible the two sequels are, I might have to rate the collective trilogy as the tenth worst of all time, but The Matrix, on its own, is unquestionably the tenth best.
The Moral of the Story: It is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

09. The Manchurian Candidate - Frank Sinatra didn't have a great voice like Dean Martin or a charming personality like Sammy Davis, Jr. - of all the members of the Rat Pack, he just always seemed to me to be the least useful. So when I first found out that he also was an actor, I expected more of the same. Boy, was I wrong. Where his singing was average, his acting was exceptional; where his musical charisma was lacking, his onscreen presence was absolutely commanding. Nowhere is this more evident than in The Manchurian Candidate, one of the only Cold War-era political thrillers that didn't lose its edge during detente and/or become wholly antiquated post-1989. Credit for this is partly due to Sinatra, sure, but the real scene-stealer here is Angela Lansbury, who is believably chilling as a manipulative, cold-hearted political wife - it's miles away from the Angela Lansbury we know from Bedknobs and Broomsticks or Murder, She Wrote, that's for sure! I also have to give special recognition to the fantastic script (adapted from Richard Condon's novel of the same name): Sen. Johnny Iselin is a (very) thinly-veiled analogue to Sen. Joseph McCarthy, and the entire film is infused with the paranoia and tension of the 1950s anti-Communist witch hunts. The brainwashing/garden party scene is flawless, and as far as plot twists go, it's hard to beat the revelation of the identity of Raymond Shaw's handler. The 2004 remake was a total snoozer (sorry, Denzel), but if you stick with the original, The Manchurian Candidate is guaranteed not to disappoint.
The Moral of the Story: There's nothing quite like a nice game of solitaire to take your mind off things.

08. The Shawshank Redemption - Most of Stephen King's work shouldn't be removed from the printed page. Even when the movie versions are good (The Shining, The Green Mile, Misery) they don't live up to the books, and when they're bad ... wow. Fewer things provide a more painful viewing experience than a bad Stephen King adaptation: Pet Sematary, Cujo, Christine, Secret Window, Thinner, and on and on and on. So how did The Shawshank Redemption turn out to be such an absolute winner, a fantastic movie on its own merits and one that is a marked improvement on the short story? Well, it helps to have Frank Darabont involved - he doesn't do much, but everything he touches turns to "classic." It can't hurt to have Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman starring, either (not to mention Freeman's narration. There's a good reason why he was cast as the voice of God in the otherwise-terrible Bruce Almighty). Plus, their characters - Andy and Red - are both believable and likable, and theirs is the best cinematic representation of friendship that I've ever seen. Speaking of realism, it's also good to see a plausible escape plot portrayed; about two years ago in New Jersey, in fact, a Shawshank-inspired jailbreak actually did occur! I could say a million more good things about The Shawshank Redemption, but I don't think I need to. This one really sells itself and no one who has seen it should be questioning its placement on this list.
The Moral of the Story: A true friend is worth more than all the money in the world.

07. Fast Times at Ridgemont High - This movie makes the list because it's not just the smartest, funniest, most realistic high school movie of all time, it's also the single greatest comedy of all time. I mean, really, there is no logical argument to be made against a film in which the entirety of the American founding is summarized as, "What Jefferson was saying was, 'Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus and if we don't get some cool rules pronto, we'll just be bogus, too!'" Classic stuff, as, I might add, is most of the rest of the dialogue. But Fast Times at Ridgemont High has much more to offer than just great lines, which is what propels it into the top ten. This movie was most people's introduction to a trio of talented actors who would go on to make many more good movies between them: Sean Penn, Forest Whitaker, Jennifer Jason Leigh (then again, it also unfortunately gave us Nicholas Cage, the second-worst actor of all time). It was Cameron Crowe's first (and best) screenplay. It turned the world outside of southern California on to slip-on checkerboard Vans. And it was one of the first teen comedies to deal with a serious issue - Stacy's abortion - in a serious way, without sacrificing the humor of the rest of the movie. In writing this, I'm reminded of just how perfect Fast Times at Ridgemont High is, and how every comedy that came after it really just pales in comparison.
The Moral of the Story: Serve no fries before their time.

06. Rocky - I'm having a hard time thinking of another movie that is as tightly bound to a city as Rocky is to Philadelphia. People here talk about Rocky like he's a real person - I confess, sometimes I'm also guilty of this - and still shower Sylvester Stallone with adoration, despite the fact that he's only made three good films in the thirty-three years since Rocky premiered in 1976 (Rocky II, Rocky III, and First Blood). That said, there's a good reason that Rocky is so revered: it's a flawless character study that captures the viewer's attention and sympathy in a way that few other movies ever have. Everybody loves to root for the underdog, and that's exactly what Rocky Balboa is - a local yokel boxer, living in a crappy studio apartment, earning an apparently meager living collecting debts for a small-time loan shark. You're sympathetic to this guy from the beginning, but when he gets chosen to fight the world heavyweight champion as part of a publicity stunt, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't immediately, fervently root for Rocky to win. It's also worth noting that only three movies make me cry with every single viewing; this is one of them. Rocky is the best sports movie of all time (by a very comfortable margin) and overall, I would say that few characters are as likable, few stories are more moving, and few movies are better.
The Moral of the Story: Make the most out of every opportunity you're given.

Top Five tomorrow! [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 9 (#11-15)

The Top 50, so far:

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game
45. Saw
44. Shrek
43. The Hills Have Eyes
42. Fletch
41. The Fifth Element
40. True Romance
39. The Usual Suspects
38. The Dark Knight
37. Evil Dead II
36. Sin City
35. The Silence of the Lambs
34. Office Space
33. Minority Report
32. American Beauty
31. National Lampoon's Animal House
30. Saturday Night Fever
29. Pulp Fiction
28. Iron Man
27. Return of the Jedi
26. V for Vendetta
25. Caddyshack
24. Seven
23. Die Hard
22. Goldfinger
21. Dawn of the Dead
20. 28 Days Later
19. Boogie Nights
18. From Russia With Love
17. 12 Monkeys
16. The Godfather Part II

And now, #11-15:

15. Shaun of the Dead - Talk about crossing genre lines: Shaun of the Dead is a romantic horror comedy about relationships and adulthood. Which, now that I write it, actually sounds ridiculous but, paradoxically, also makes me realize even more acutely just how perfectly awesome this movie is. Blurring this many lines could have made for a shiftless, unfocused mess of a film, but Shaun of the Dead plays each component well and combines them seamlessly: the dialogue is funny - best line: "Kill the Queen! NO, the jukebox!" - but doesn't detract from the suspense of the zombie scenes; there's lots of gore but not at the expense of the genuinely touching stories about Shaun and Ed's friendship and Shaun and Philip's evolving relationship; the Ed and Liz romance scenes are sweet but never take themselves so seriously that the jokes get lost. Shaun of the Dead also gets extra credit points for flawlessly inserting so many pop culture references, some subtle (a clip from The Smiths' "Panic" playing on the TV during the beginning of the zombie uprising), some not so subtle (um, duh, see #21 for the title of the movie). I didn't care much for Hot Fuzz or Run, Fatboy, Run, but if nothing else, I'll always love Simon Pegg for giving us Shaun of the Dead. Priceless.
The Moral of the Story: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

14. Reservoir Dogs - If there's one adage that Quentin Tarantino lives by, it's, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Reservoir Dogs was his first movie and it contains all the elements that make up the reliably enjoyable (if not always outstanding) Tarantino formula. Retro music? Check - "Stuck in the Middle with You." Stylish ultra-violence? Check - the still-makes-me-cringe-uncomfortably scene with Mr. Blonde and Marvin Nash. Overly wordy and vulgar, yet highly memorable/quotable, dialogue? Check - how about, " I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up but that ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. If you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it; put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit, I got two words for you: learn to fuckin' type. Because if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fuckin' surprise." It's rare that a filmmaker's first movie turns out to be their best, but that's Reservoir Dogs for you.
The Moral of the Story: Just because things can't get any worse doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get any better.

13. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - As noted before, some 1970s horror movies have had good remakes recently (see Dawn of the Dead (#21) and The Hills Have Eyes (#43)); The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is not one of them. Perhaps that's because the original is so perfect that even a good remake would seem like crap in comparison. This movie creates an unmatchable sense of dread and suspense from the moment it starts and actually manages to increase that uneasy feeling as the movie goes on. In fact, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre has four of my top ten favorite horror movie scenes in history: the camera flashbulb opening shots (also in my top ten greatest movie introductions); the sudden appearance of Leatherface behind the steel door when Kirk enters the house; the family dinner; Sally's run through the woods and jump into the pickup truck. What's even more impressive about this movie is that almost all the horror and violence are implied - there's so little gore here that the filmmakers, when they took it to the MPAA, were hoping to get a PG-rating! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the greatest horror film of all time and is one of the few that I can always count on to freak me out, every time.
The Moral of the Story: If you think your family is crazy, think again.

12. Star Wars - Let's get one thing straight: I'm not buying into any of this revisionistic bullshit that George Lucas is trying to pull on us by officially retitling this movie Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. No no no. This movie was, is, and always will be Star Wars, simple as that. OK. Now that I've got that off my chest, I don't really know what more I need to say to justify its inclusion here - the term "self-evident" almost seems like an understatement. I think everyone already knows that it's a story that grabs your attention, sucks you in completely, and is thoroughly enjoyable and exciting to watch. Still, it's worth pointing out that the technological innovations in Star Wars changed the movie industry forever; no post-1977 film with special effects would have been the same, if even possible at all, without it. It was also the first film that truly recognized and capitalized from the marketing tie-in possibilities; games, toys, fast food promos - no one really did it before and I'd say that no one has done it as well since. Star Wars certainly wasn't the first sci-fi/space movie, but it might well be the most influential and is easily one of the coolest.
The Moral of the Story: Let the Wookiee win.

11. The Muppet Movie - I shudder to think what children's entertainment - and, by extension, my childhood - would have been without Jim Henson. Probably more of the same kind of sanitized, mainstream, heavy-handed, conformist crap that Disney has been pumping out since mid-century. Yikes. Although best-known for Sesame Street, I would argue that the Muppets were Jim Henson's greatest invention; The Muppet Movie is the high point in a Muppet legacy full of high points. Every song is fantastic ("Rainbow Connection" makes my top ten greatest musical moments list; "I Hope That Something Better Comes Along" and "Can You Picture That?" are no slouches either). Every cameo is perfect, although Richard Pryor and Steve Martin kind of steal the show with theirs. This movie - and the show itself, more generally speaking - pioneered and perfected the art of aiming equally at kids and adults without losing the interest of either. The dialogue is a perfect example - one of my favorite movie lines of all time is when Fozzie offers a hitchhiking Big Bird a ride to California and Big Bird responds, "oh, no thanks, I'm on my way to New York to try to break into public television." Ha! I totally just laughed out loud even as I typed it. Brilliant line, and brilliant movie.
The Moral of the Story: Anything is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself.

The Top Ten starts tomorrow! [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 8 (#16-20)

Things are getting exciting as we get closer to number one. Here's a brief look at what's already made the list:

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game
45. Saw
44. Shrek
43. The Hills Have Eyes
42. Fletch
41. The Fifth Element
40. True Romance
39. The Usual Suspects
38. The Dark Knight
37. Evil Dead II
36. Sin City
35. The Silence of the Lambs
34. Office Space
33. Minority Report
32. American Beauty
31. National Lampoon's Animal House
30. Saturday Night Fever
29. Pulp Fiction
28. Iron Man
27. Return of the Jedi
26. V for Vendetta
25. Caddyshack
24. Seven
23. Die Hard
22. Goldfinger
21. Dawn of the Dead

And now, into the top twenty!

20. 28 Days Later - For some reason, 28 Days Later was, and continues to be, completely mismarketed. People call it a zombie horror movie, but it's not. If anything, it's an apocalyptic military suspense movie, although I suppose that doesn't really have quite the same ring to it. Whatever. The point is this: no matter how you define this movie, it's the perfect blend of action, violence, thrills, scares, and thought-provoking believability. The cinematography is gorgeous - the pan shots of a deserted London are absolutely chilling - and with a cast of unknowns (to American audiences, at least) not distracting you with star power, it's very easy to get lost in the willing suspension of disbelief. Bonus points for the most perfectly exhilarating and thrilling chase sequence - the tire change in the tunnel out of London - I've ever seen; it's also hard to think of a bigger "oh shit" moment than the castle sequence with the soldiers and the female survivors. The sequel was a bit of a disappointment, but there's nothing bad to be said about 28 Days Later.
The Moral of the Story: Radical thoughts, good; radical tactics, bad.

19. Boogie Nights - Song placement can take an OK movie and make it good or, in the case of Boogie Nights, push an already-great movie into legendary status. The opening scene (the long shot at the club that introduces all the characters) set to "Best Of My Love" is, hands down, my favorite example of this; the "Sister Christian" and "God Only Knows" scenes would also rank near the top of my top ten of all-time. The music plays an integral role in this movie, drawing the viewer into the story of the rise, fall, and renaissance of Dirk Diggler (the unexpectedly excellent breakthrough performance by "Marky" Mark Wahlberg). But it also frames the larger sociological story happening in the background - the self-indulgence of the post-Watergate 1970s falling victim to the career-oriented conservatism of Reagan's 1980s, the death of free love thanks to the reality of AIDS, the feel-good disco generation losing its identity to the nihilism of punk rock and corporate-manufactured rebellion of heavy metal. Boogie Nights is a great character study, but even more importantly, it's a portrait of an era.
The Moral of the Story: Bigger isn't always better.

18. From Russia With Love - Goldfinger might be the best-known (and perhaps most well-liked) Bond film, but for my money, From Russia With Love is the clear high point of the franchise. Even without 007, this would be a great spy movie; the presence of Sean Connery as Bond only makes it that much better. It's got the most realistic plot of all the films in the series, the attache case is plausibly cool without being "gadgety," and the fight scene on the train is still completely exciting to watch. Plus, it's the first Bond movie to have Desmond Llewelyn as "Q." No disrespect to John Cleese, but there will only ever be one "Q," and it's not him. It's also worth pointing out that this movie has the most beautiful Bond girl ever - Daniela Bianchi as Tatiana Romanova. There are other great 007 movies, and even the worst of them have some redeeming qualities, but everything comes into perfect alignment in From Russia With Love.
The Moral of the Story: In the end, the good guy always gets the girl.

17. 12 Monkeys - From what you've seen on this list so far, it's probably not too hard to identify a few things that basically guarantee that I will enjoy a movie, and 12 Monkeys has them all: global human annihilation; time travel; post-societal survivalism; totalitarian governments; Bruce Willis. This was the first movie in which I ever suspected that Brad Pitt was a seriously good actor and not just some pretty boy (a suspicion confirmed by subsequent viewings of Seven (#24) and True Romance (#40) later that year). Terry Gilliam is one of the best directors out there (see also: Brazil, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas); he doesn't do much, but when he does, it's never a letdown - reportedly, he was J.K. Rowling's first choice to do the Harry Potter movies and one can only imagine how much more excellent those would have been with his involvement. But we're not talking about "what if" here. 12 Monkeys is "what is" and what it is, is remarkable on all fronts.
The Moral of the Story: Pre- or post-apocalypse, don't go to Baltimore.

16. The Godfather Part II - This was the first major movie to use "Part 2" in the title; apparently, filmmakers were previously afraid that naming a film in such a way would imply that it was merely an afterthought to an existing movie. That's hardly the case here - yes, The Godfather Part II is a sequel, extending the Michael Corleone story begun in The Godfather, but it's also a prequel, telling the story of young Vito Corleone and the genesis of the family in America. Francis Ford Coppola actually managed to improve the casting from the original, adding Robert DeNiro for the prequel segments and bringing back most of the the original cast for the sequel segments. The fine acting brings the story to life in an immediately compelling way, which keeps the film from dragging despite of its three-and-a-half hour runtime. Really, it's hard to think of anything about this movie that is criticizable - The Godfather Part II is an amazing movie on its own merits and is also one of the few sequels that lives up to and, arguably, might even outshine the original.
The Moral of the Story: Never turn your back on your family.

Tough competition! #11-15 tomorrow. [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 7 (#21-25)

So far:

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game
45. Saw
44. Shrek
43. The Hills Have Eyes
42. Fletch
41. The Fifth Element
40. True Romance
39. The Usual Suspects
38. The Dark Knight
37. Evil Dead II
36. Sin City
35. The Silence of the Lambs
34. Office Space
33. Minority Report
32. American Beauty
31. National Lampoon's Animal House
30. Saturday Night Fever
29. Pulp Fiction
28. Iron Man
27. Return of the Jedi
26. V for Vendetta

We're halfway through the list now, and moving right along into the Top 25!

25. Caddyshack - This is the only movie in which Bill Murray and Chevy Chase are onscreen together. The hilarity of that scene alone is enough to put this in the running for the Top 50; what pushes it squarely into the middle of the rankings is the fact that every scene in the movie is equally funny. I could probably make an entire Top 50 list of just the best Caddyshack quotes, but how about these for now: "Don't sell yourself short, Judge, you're a tremendous slouch"; "This is the worst looking hat I ever saw. I bet when you buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup! Uh ... it looks good on you, though"; "I got a lot of stuff on order. Credit troubles"; "Remember, two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left." One of the best comedies, and my second-favorite sports movie, of all time.
The Moral of the Story: Be the ball.

24. Seven - There are a couple of bleak movies on this list, but none even come close to matching the darkness of Seven. And when I say that this movie is dark, I mean that on every level. The city sets are strewn with trash, claustrophobic with people, grey with rain. Every character is, at best, empty and unfulfilled on some level or, at worst, downright sociopathic; on that note, it's also the third film on this list that could qualify solely on the strength of Kevin Spacey's performance, although Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt are also fantastic and deserve high praise. The crimes are truly horrific ("lust" is especially disturbing). Nowhere, in fact, in Seven, is there any sense of hope whatsoever - it's just scene after scene of human filth, moral decay, urban rot. It would be laughable to suggest that Seven makes you feel good, but if nothing else, you gotta give it credit for making you feel.
The Moral of the Story: There's no such thing as a happy ending.

23. Die Hard - Action is a tough genre in its purest form. You tend to get "plots" that serve as little more than filler in between car chases, gunfights, over-choreographed martial arts, and so on. You also tend to get "stars" who couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag and are sorely lacking in charisma (Jason Statham being the major exception; Vin Diesel certainly has the latter but has yet to impress me on the former). Die Hard, on the other hand, is a fast-paced, clever, and fun (if not entirely original or thought-provoking) story and it's made even better with the presence of a good actor: the charming, likeable, and (most importantly) totally badass Bruce Willis as Det. John McClane. Seriously, when he jumps off the exploding roof of Nakatomi Plaza, strapped to a fire hose, machine guns blazing ... so awesome. Action stars don't get any better, and neither do action movies.
The Moral of the Story: The next time you have the chance to kill someone, don't hesitate.

22. Goldfinger - Sure, Goldfinger is a little dated and thanks to Austin Powers, we all chuckle now at some scenes and characters that are meant to be serious. Even after admitting that, though, I just can't overstate how great this movie is. The dialogue is clever without being unbelievably jokey and ridiculous (a flaw that killed nearly every 007 movie with Roger Moore). The plot is relatively plausible, especially by the standards of the Bond series, and it actually makes sense from start to finish, unlike some later entries (ie., Quantum of Solace - I still don't understand what the hell that movie is supposed to be about). This was the first Bond movie to use a lot of gadgets and feature the heavily-modded Aston Martin; even more importantly, Goldfinger was the one that first gave us the line, "Shaken, not stirred." Goldfinger is likely the most well-known Bond movie and, although all of the first five films are amazing, is probably the one that I'd recommend to a franchise newbie.
The Moral of the Story: All that glitters is not gold.

21. Dawn of the Dead - Like The Hills Have Eyes (#43), this is another horror film that got a surprisingly solid remake recently but it's the original that deserves a spot on this list. It couldn't have been easy to follow a classic like Night of the Living Dead, but ten years later (1978), George Romero did exactly that; moreover, not only did he follow it, he surpassed it. As a zombie movie, it's untouchable - perhaps less gruesome than many of its peers (though in no way is it lacking in carnage) but the relative lack of gore doesn't make it any less enjoyable. I'd probably argue, in fact, that it's even more impressive because it relies less on splatter and more on plot. In any case, what really sets Dawn of the Dead apart is the suburban shopping mall setting (Monroeville, PA! Road trip, anyone??) that allows the film to make subtle, subtextual comments on social class and consumerism, themes that were prominent in the 1970s and are still every bit as fresh and relevant today.
The Moral of the Story: In case of a zombie apocalypse, always choose the survival spot with an Orange Julius.

Tomorrow: #16-20. Stay tuned. [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 6 (#26-30)

Where we've been:

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game
45. Saw
44. Shrek
43. The Hills Have Eyes
42. Fletch
41. The Fifth Element
40. True Romance
39. The Usual Suspects
38. The Dark Knight
37. Evil Dead II
36. Sin City
35. The Silence of the Lambs
34. Office Space
33. Minority Report
32. American Beauty
31. National Lampoon's Animal House

Where we are today:

30. Saturday Night Fever - When we first got HBO, they used to play two versions of this mega-blockbuster - the original R-rated version and, during the day, an edited PG-rated version that had been theatrically released by Paramount after the astonishing success of the original. Growing up, the sanitized cut of Saturday Night Fever was all I ever knew; even then I thought it was a pretty good movie. Engaging story and characters and, of course, an amazing, hit-packed, era-defining soundtrack. At the time, it just seemed like a feel-good story about down-and-out kids making the best of it. It wasn't until the 2002 theatrical re-release that I saw the real version and realized just how dark and depressing this movie actually is. Sure, the dancing and dreaming are still there - but so is the drug addiction, the foul language, and the date rape. In this form - the only one commercially-available today - Saturday Night Fever shines a harsh light into the darkness and, just like in life, doesn't necessarily get a reflection in return.
The Moral of the Story: Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.

29. Pulp Fiction - First things first: has anyone got any idea what is supposed to be in that damned briefcase? That's been driving me crazy for fifteen years, since I first saw Pulp Fiction in the theater. Anyway, this movie is so well-known and so culturally significant that I probably don't need to explain why it made this list. Regardless, here are a few of my favorite things about it: "'What' ain't no country I've ever heard of. Do they speak English in What? ... English, motherfucker, do you speak it??"; the adrenaline injection; Christopher Walken's 'gold watch' monologue; Winston Wolf, the cleaner; the gimp; Fox Force Five. If Quentin Tarantino has his hand in it, it's a pretty sure bet that it's going to rule (aside from Death Proof and the last half of Kill Bill 2, that is), and Pulp Fiction wins that wager handsomely.
The Moral of the Story: Anything that can possibly go wrong, does.

28. Iron Man - Superhero movies exist, generally speaking, in the world of fantasy - radioactive spiders, men from space, schools for mutants. Iron Man is a welcome change of pace, in that it is completely plausible on every level (Batman movies also get some credit here, although the technology sometimes strains the boundaries of credibility). Robert Downey Jr. is excellent as Iron Man, and I can't think of anyone else who could so ably pull off Tony Stark's mix of intelligence, charm, and cockiness. It's also nice to see a movie adaptation that stays true to the idea of the comics while, at the same time, updating/altering them for the big screen (ie., comics set in NYC, movie set in L.A.; comics set during Cold War, movie set in Afghanistan, etc.). This movie also gets much love for awesome extra- and intra-movie cameos (Tony Stark in The Incredible Hulk; Agent Nick Fury in Iron Man) that tie the Marvel movies together and make me suspect that the upcoming Avengers movie is going to be a serious contender for any Top 50 lists I might do down the road. But this review is about Iron Man, and to make a long story short, it's easily the best superhero movie yet.
The Moral of the Story: Brains are better than brawn, but it's best to have both.

27. Return of the Jedi - The first act of Return of the Jedi - Han Solo's rescue and the escape from Jabba's palace on Tatooine - are the most thrilling and flat-out awesome moments ever captured on film. Had George Lucas quit there, Return of the Jedi would have rocketed immediately and permanently to #1 on this list and no other film would have even come close. As it is, though ... not quite. There's nothing really inherently wrong with this movie, it's just that it had the misfortune of following the (far superior) swashbuckling adventure of Star Wars and brooding ambiguity of The Empire Strikes Back. Endor is cool, but not as cool as Bespin, Hoth, Mos Eisley, or Dagobah; Wicket J. Warrick is a fine Muppet, but falls far short of Yoda and doesn't match up to Chewbacca in the 'hairy creatures' category, either; the Speeder Bikes are pretty awesome, but slightly less so than the AT-AT Walkers, Sandcrawlers, Landspeeders, and Cloud Cars ... you see my point. It's certainly ten times better than any of the prequels and I'll gladly watch it any day, any time, but Return of the Jedi is just not quite great enough to justify putting it any higher.
The Moral of the Story: A father's love knows no bounds.

26. V for Vendetta - It's rare enough to find a futuristic political action thriller that is as visually striking as this movie, but it's even more rare to find one whose dialogue is equally inspiring. Many of these lines would fit comfortably alongside any canonic political philosophy text - if someone somewhere isn't offering a "Political Theory in Film" course that includes this movie, I would be shocked. Best line: "Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof." I'm also pretty in love with, "A building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by the people. A symbol, in and of itself, is powerless, but with enough people behind it, blowing up a building can change the world" and, "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." Dialogue like that, combined with such stellar acting and amazing special effects, pretty much guaranteed that V for Vendetta was going to be brilliant, and it is.
The Moral of the Story: One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

Where we're going tomorrow: #21-25. [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 5 (#31-35)

Fifteen down:

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game
45. Saw
44. Shrek
43. The Hills Have Eyes
42. Fletch
41. The Fifth Element
40. True Romance
39. The Usual Suspects
38. The Dark Knight
37. Evil Dead II
36. Sin City

Five more for today:

35. The Silence of the Lambs - It was hard to determine where to rank The Silence of the Lambs. On one hand, almost everything about the movie is brilliant. The story is fast-paced, engaging, and, while not particularly shocking, always keeps you on the edge of your seat. No matter how often you see it, the night-vision scene is still uncomfortably creepy and suspenseful. And I can't think of any better villain than Hannibal Lecter, who is equally repulsive and likeable, and delivers the best closing line ever captured on film ("I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner."). On the other hand, the film's only real flaw is a biggie: Jodie Foster's "accent" is laughably bad, sounding constantly like someone using a fake voice. Put a better actress in the lead role and The Silence of the Lambs could easily, easily have risen into the top five; as it exists, I think this is the perfect placement for it.
The Moral of the Story: Never offer roadside assistance to anyone driving a van.

34. Office Space - Just about every minute of Office Space offers some new, compelling piece of evidence for its inclusion on this list, but none is finer than the following exchange, which perfectly captures, I think, man's near-universal attitude towards work:

Consultant - "It looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately."
Peter - "I wouldn't say I've been 'missing' it."

Need more? How about Lumbergh, the O-Face, the Jump to Conclusions Mat, "two chicks at the same time", and, of course, "... I realized that ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's the worst day of my life." Office Space is realistic and relatable, always hilarious, and I'm hard-pressed to think of many better comedies.
The Moral of the Story: Work is the curse of the drinking classes. And everyone else, too.

33. Minority Report - You can't really go wrong with Philip K. Dick as your source material - Blade Runner, anyone? - and with Steven Spielberg directing; it should go without saying that the script and direction are second to none. In addition, the sets, costume design, and effects are plausibly futuristic - this is one of the few sci-fi movies that looks like it is set in a world that we might realistically inhabit one day. It's also refreshing to see a major Hollywood hit raise the question of free will vs. determinism and not be too heavy-handed in its attempts both to arrive at an answer and to assess the moral implications that the debate raises. The only potentially fatal flaw in Minority Report was the presence of Tom Cruise (the fourth worst actor, and sixth most annoying celebrity, of all time), but for once, he rose to the occasion and completely nailed it. Kudos.
The Moral of the Story: A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

32. American Beauty - Like The Wrestler (#49), American Beauty is a poignant look at one man's attempts to reconnect with his youthful glory years. The reason that American Beauty ranks higher is that it is also a movie about the death of the modern family, changing gender roles, and the undercurrent of moral corruption in suburbia; in short, it's the story of the rise and fall of the American Dream. With a lesser cast, the ambition of the script could have gone unfulfilled or, even worse, become ridiculously overwrought; clearly, this was not the case here. Quite the opposite, in fact - the acting is subtly nuanced, almost understated, which not only creates an extraordinary sense of realism but also perfectly illustrates the larger messages about resignation and acceptance. In this and other ways, American Beauty is part comedy and part drama, but is always thought-provoking and emotionally involving.
The Moral of the Story: You can't go home again.

31. National Lampoon's Animal House - Innovation is (almost) always better than imitation, no matter how good. This movie is no exception: Animal House was the first comedy to really push the limits of so-called 'good taste' (the popping zit, the horse in the office, Otter with the Dean's wife and then impersonating a grieving boyfriend, "you mind if we dance with your dates?", and on and on) and now, more than 30 years later, it's still as fresh and entertaining as ever. Where it excels - and where the great majority of its followers failed - is that the crass humor is always used to serve the scene, not as the entire point of the scene itself. Plus, it's fun to see a movie in which there's no attempt whatsoever to subtly shade the characters - the good guys are the good guys, the bad guys are assholes, no exceptions. The best of both: Tim Matheson as Otter (though you can't help but love John Belushi as Bluto Blutarsky) and Mark Metcalf as Niedermayer (later, of course, reinvented in two fantastically silly Twisted Sister videos).
The Moral of the Story: When things seem hopeless? Toga party. When things are hopeless? Road trip.

Stay tuned - #26-30 tomorrow. [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 4 (#36-40)

The top fifty, so far, are:

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game
45. Saw
44. Shrek
43. The Hills Have Eyes
42. Fletch
41. The Fifth Element

Marching on:

40. True Romance - I could say a million good things about the story and the dialogue and the cinematography, but you can't discuss True Romance properly without talking about the casting. Off the top of my head, I can't immediately think of a movie with more star power, even in the smallest roles. Special recognition goes to Brad Pitt as Floyd the stoney roommate ("Get some beer ... and some cleaning products ..."), Christopher Walken as the mafia lawyer ("I'm the anti-Christ and you got me in a vendetta kind of mood."), and the never-disappointing Gary Oldman as Drexel the pimp ("He must've thought today was white boy day. It ain't white boy day today, is it?"), but really, there's no one out of their league here. Written (but not directed) by Quentin Tarantino, True Romance is the dictionary definition of what a love story should be. That is to say, it's full of guns, cocaine, Los Angeles, and vulgar language. I guess that makes this a "chick flick" for dudes?
The Moral of the Story: All you need is love. Love is all you need.

39. The Usual Suspects - "Who is Keyser Soze?" was one of the best marketing campaigns I can remember, and the buzz around this movie seems, in retrospect, much more organic and honest than the whole "midnight screening event" thing that has taken hold of the movie industry. The Usual Suspects is one of the rare cases in which the movie lives up to and exceeds the expectations created by the hype. It's got one of the most engaging stories on this list, exceptional acting (Kevin Spacey, of course, is amazing, but the entire cast owns it), and you just can't say enough about the ending. If I were making a list of the best plot twists of all time, this would easily be in the top five, if not number one - no matter how many times I watch this movie, watching it all unfold never gets any less enjoyable.
The Moral of the Story: Never judge a book by its cover.

38. The Dark Knight - Everybody loses their mind over Heath Ledger's performance as The Joker, which is certainly understandable but a bit of a disservice to the rest of the cast. Honestly, every time I watch this movie, it's Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face that really blows me away. And whenever Gary Oldman is in something, he is great and the movie usually is, too. As far as huge-budget blockbuster films, it doesn't get any better than this but there's one problem with The Dark Knight that kept it from ranking higher on the list: Christian Bale as Batman. Don't get me wrong - I think he's a good actor, and he's definitely handsome and charming enough to be peerless as Bruce Wayne. But then he puts on the Batman suit and drops his voice an octave and it's just a little too over-the-top for my taste. In the grand scheme of things, this is still a freaking excellent movie, though.
The Moral of the Story: When life hands you lemons, flip out and go psychotic.

37. Evil Dead II - All three of the movies in the Evil Dead series made my short list, and any could have easily made the top fifty - for that matter, Sam Raimi's lesser-appreciated but equally magnificent Darkman also could have made the cut. But I only had one space open so I went with the middle installment of the trilogy primarily because it is, hands down, the single most bizarre movie I have ever seen in my life: demonic tree possessions; limbs self-severed by, and replaced with, a chainsaw; flying eyeballs; the boomstick; a teleportation vortex back to the Middle Ages. Yet no matter how off-the-wall the plot becomes, it never gets unfocused or loses the balance between horror and humor. Topping it all off: Bruce Campbell, the only man alive who can say "groovy" and still be cool.
The Moral of the Story: Always expect the unexpected.

36. Sin City - Most books lose something in translation to film. This is especially true for graphic novels, which are already so tightly bound to images and visual composition that it's hard to either reinvent them or to recreate them faithfully. Sin City is the exception to that rule. Robert Rodriguez (and, to a lesser extent, Quentin Tarantino and series creator Frank Miller) beautifully recreated the world of the novel, shooting most of the movie digitally against green screens to allow him to fill in the backgrounds with the radical camera angles and semi-exaggerated set pieces in the original work. The high-contrast black and white presentation - using only brief flashes of color from scene to scene - is absolutely gorgeous to watch; of all the films on this list, this might well be my favorite, aesthetically. It would also land somewhere on my list for "best casting" - Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, Michael Clarke Duncan, Clive Owen, and another amazing comeback performance by Mickey Rourke, to name just a few. Just about every minute of Sin City is filled with something awesome and it's about as close to flawless as movies get.
The Moral of the Story: Crime doesn't pay, except when it does.

Tomorrow: #31-35. [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 3 (#41-45)

To recap so far:

50. Total Recall
49. The Wrestler
48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
46. The Game

And now, today's installment:

45. Saw - It's not always easy to be a fan of the horror genre. There's not a lot of new ground to cover at this point, and most modern efforts tend to confuse unique, escalating violence with actual innovation (see, for instance, the entire "torture porn" movement). Saw, on the other hand, was, and still is, a story unlike any other: without skimping on the gore, it also gives us unforeseeable plot turns, social commentary, and a serial-killing antihero whose raison d'etre is, frankly, kind of admirable. It almost seems like a disservice to the film to simply label it "horror," since it's so much smarter (and better) than most of the rest of the genre. In addition, the set design is flawless - every location is realistically dirty and Jigsaw's contraptions look like they could actually work. Saw is an ambitious film on every level and although none of its sequels have lived up to its promise (though several are quite good), there's no denying the greatness of the original.
The Moral of the Story: The unexamined life is not worth living.

44. Shrek - Why is Shrek such a great movie? Partly because it's made for children but aimed at adults, and somehow manages to never pander to either. Partly because it's full of clever and hip pop culture references without being like, "oh, wink wink, look at us and how clever and hip we're being with our pop culture references." Partly because it is, simultaneously, a fairy tale, a love story, a buddy movie, an adventure movie, and a comedy. Partly because it's one of the few movies of the last twenty years (along with Life and Bowfinger) that prove that Eddie Murphy, once the greatest stand-up comedian in the world, still has the potential to be funny. And partly because no matter how many times I see it - and with a four-year-old running around, believe me, I've seen it a lot - it never gets old and I still laugh every time.
The Moral of the Story: It isn't easy being green.

43. The Hills Have Eyes - The 2006 remake was surprisingly good, but it's the 1977 original that takes the prize here. Wes Craven's directorial resume is nothing if not a who's who list of outstanding horror films (the atrocious Vampire in Brooklyn being the exception) and this, his second film, is the best of the bunch. Made for less than a quarter million dollars and using relatively unknown actors, The Hills Have Eyes looks and feels like you're watching a real event unfold; the plausibility of the plot and solid writing and acting support that sense of realism handsomely. Perhaps that's why it is still so genuinely creepy and frightening 30+ years, and repeated viewings, later. Or maybe it's the mutated cannibal rape and infant snatching scene - a shocking sequence that modern horror films, in spite of their escalating gore and tendency towards the extreme, have yet to better. Also, this one has the best horror movie poster tag line ever: "They wanted to see something different ... but something different saw them first." Awesome.
The Moral of the Story: Never take a road trip without your AAA card. And an arsenal.

42. Fletch - Hard to believe now, but once upon a time, Chevy Chase was an unstoppable comedy god. Deadpan condescension has never been done better, and this film is his tour de force performance: Dr. Rosenrosen, John Cocktoastan, Mr. Poon, "the familiar red Oldsmobuick of one Arnold J. Pants, esquire", "you don't mean Communists, do you, Sam?" I guess I should admit that I tried really hard to master this kind of quick-witted, understated delivery as a kid (Fletch was released when I was 12). I don't know how successful I was, but after watching this one again, I'm struck by just how many of the lines from this movie have become part of my everyday vernacular. Having said that, though, it's important to note that Fletch is about more than just one-liners. The script, based on the novel by Gregory McDonald, is engaging and clever; aside from the jokes, it's actually a pretty decent little mystery movie. It's definitely worth adding to your movie collection even if you're strapped for cash these days - just charge it to the Underhill's bill!
The Moral of the Story: If you don't like who you are, just be someone else.

41. The Fifth Element - In a nutshell, this one is about a plot to eradicate humanity that can only be stopped by a superhuman perfect being who appears in the form of a beautiful girl; she is aided in her quest by an awkward, bungling priest and a bad-ass cabbie/former Army major. They are thwarted by a wealthy, corrupt arms dealer who makes deals with forces of pure evil, and everything comes to a climax on an interstellar cruise hosted by a flamboyant radio DJ who sings Lionel Richie songs. Oh, and did I mention that the latter three roles are played by Bruce Willis, Gary Oldman, and Chris Tucker? And that it was written and directed by the peerless Frenchman Luc Besson? And that Jean-Paul Gaultier did all the costumes? I did the math twice here, and I have to tell you, I don't see any way that The Fifth Element could add up to anything other than completely brilliant and amazing. And that it is, indeed.
The Moral of the Story: Nothing good ever comes of a night at the opera.

Coming tomorrow, #36-40. [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 2 (#46-50)

No need for a long intro here; let's just jump right in:

50. Total Recall - Let's get something straight: Arnold Schwarzenegger is not a bad actor (a claim that is, you understand, very different than saying that he is a good actor, which he is also not) but his success in a role is heavily dependent on his script. Give him something good, like Predator or The Running Man, and you'll get something good; give him something bad, like any of his "comedies," and it's the cinematic equivalent of swine flu. So what happens when you give him something great? Total Recall, that's what. Thought-provoking and intelligent, but still fast-paced and full of futuristic gadgets, cool effects, and cinematic action hero bon mots (ie., "Consider that a divorce."); this is a model of what all sci-fi should aspire to be.
The Moral of the Story: Everyone goes on vacation and hates to come home. Be careful what you wish for.

49. The Wrestler - Jessica will tell you, I couldn't stop talking about this one for a solid week after we saw it, and even now, writing this, I'm still fairly moved. Darren Aronofsky knows a thing or two about affecting his audience with multidimensional characters and gorgeous cinematography; this movie demonstrates that even more so than his others. The title character - outstandingly portrayed by Mickey Rourke in an unexpected but welcome late-career resurgence - is the epitome of a fuck-up who lives in the past, but he's so charismatically sincere and well-meaning that you can't help but root for him all the way. This film perfectly illustrates one of the most basic human experiences: we all have to grow up, move on, let go, and accept our pasts; The Wrestler is about one man's struggle to do just that. Bonus points for an ambiguous ending that lets the audience decide the outcome, followed by Springsteen's brooding, Nebraska-esque title song.
The Moral of the Story: Maybe it actually is better to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost.

48. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Jim Carrey started to get existential on us in The Truman Show and really, these two movies explore the same themes from different angles - The Truman Show about seeking out the present and future truth as it actually is, Eternal Sunshine about creating your own present and future truth by reinventing what came before. Really, both of these movies are excellent and it wasn't easy to pick one over the other, but ultimately, I chose Eternal Sunshine because Michel Gondry is an important and groundbreaking director, Charlie Kaufman's scripts never fail to make an emotional connection with the audience, and the last part ("Meet me in Montauk") is, without question, one of the most heartbreaking sequences ever put to film. I tear up every time, don't you?
The Moral of the Story: We'd all like to erase our memories of Ace Ventura, but maybe we shouldn't.

47. Ferris Bueller's Day Off - John Hughes was untouchable in the 80s and although there's also a pretty solid argument to be made in favor of Sixteen Candles, this one gets the nod as the best of the bunch for one reason: it's universal. Every one of us, at any age - school, work, retirement - has, at some point or another, fantasized about a day exactly like this. A day of total irresponsibility, of wild abandon, of getting one over on authority, of living life completely and absolutely in the current moment. Moreover, you can't deny the lasting impact that Ferris Bueller had on pop culture: "Bueller ... Bueller ... Bueller"; Save Ferris; "... something-d-o-o-economics ... voodoo economics"; Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago; "If you had a car like this, would you take it back right away?" And if all that isn't enough to convince you of this film's genius, I have two words for you: Ed Rooney.
The Moral of the Story: Anything is possible with a good friend, a beautiful girl, a shit-hot car, and absolutely no plan.

46. The Game - Of all the films on the list, this is the one that most people probably haven't heard of, and that's a real shame. Michael Douglas and Sean Penn star - reason enough, I think, to go look it up, no? - as brothers who become involved with a company called Consumer Recreation Services that crafts real-life adventures for the bored and wealthy. In that sense, I guess, it's sort of loosely similar to the plot of Total Recall, but the similarities end there: this is a real-world thriller, full of unexpected (and, more importantly, unpredictable) plot twists, set in San Francisco in the late 1990s. Some critics compared it to "The Twilight Zone"; I'm more inclined to call it the logical heir to Alfred Hitchcock. High praise in either case (and damn fine company to keep!), and this one more than lives up to it. Fantastic.
The Moral of the Story: Trust no one.

Up next: #41-45. [[justin]]

The 50 Greatest Movies of All Time, pt. 1

Jessica and I recently decided to, over the next year or so, make our way through the AFI Top 100 Movies list. While looking at the list, though, two things struck me. First, I've already seen about half of them. Second, I would only put about ten of their choices on my list of the greatest movies of the last 100 years. So what better way to inaugurate The Front Burner, v.2, than with my own list of the 50 greatest movies of all time?

Before we start, though, I should point out straight away that I'm neither a film critic, nor a film student, nor a filmmaker; I'm not trying to assess these movies on any standard other than my own subjective assessment of their rank-ordered greatness. So there are lots of films that, while I love them and certainly agree that they are technically brilliant (Blade Runner) or culturally significant (It's A Wonderful Life) or genre defining (pretty much anything by Alfred Hitchcock) or paradigm shifting (Citizen Kane), just didn't make the cut. Also, I decided to do a Top 50 rather than a Top 100, mostly because, after going through my DVD collection and a bunch of critics' and bloggers' lists, I could only come up with about 60 movies that I would consider "great" enough to merit inclusion. So why pad the list just to get to an even hundred? Plus, with fewer movies to write about, I'll have more time to talk a little bit about each, and why I love them so much.

It should, of course, go without saying that I fully endorse every movie on this list and would recommend all of them without hesitation to everyone reading. Argue or agree with the ones you've seen, and make a beeline to your Netflix queue on the rest. I welcome your comments and recommendations on films I might have missed along the way!

I'll be posting five movies per day, in ascending order, beginning tomorrow. Today, I thought I'd look at a few of the near-misses; six movies that for one reason or another just didn't quite make the cut.

The Near-Misses
(in no particular order)

* Gremlins - You could put this anywhere on your list and I wouldn't argue: it's a Christmas movie that isn't about Christmas; a horror movie for kids; a comedy about violence. It pretty much hits everything that I like in a movie - anarchy, laughs, scares, sentimentality, Phoebe Cates. The effects still look cool (and believable!) and the Mogwai are adorable without being adorable, if you know what I mean. Dropping this was, therefore, a real heartbreaker but, put up against the other movies in the Top 50, I couldn't find anything that in a head to head match, I didn't like just a tiny little bit better. So let's call this our honorary mention and put it at number fifty-one.
The Moral of the Story: High maintenance pets + low responsibility kids = chaos.

* A Christmas Story and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - "The Old Man" and Clark Griswold are my two favorite movie dads. A Christmas Story is every bit as much of a sentimental classic as any other holiday movie; for my money, it's the best Christmas movie of all-time. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is sweet in its own way, and is still as hilarious as it was when it was released twenty years ago. Plus, Randy Quaid steals every scene of every movie he's in, so the second half of this movie, after Cousin Eddie arrives, is pure comedy gold. I watch both of these movies multiple times every Christmas. Ironically, that's the only reason they didn't make the Top 50 - because I only watch them at Christmastime. The greatest movies of all time, it seems to me, should probably have year-round appeal.
The Moral of the Story: (ACS) You can always count on your family to make the holidays magical. (NLCV) You can always count on your family to make the holidays stressful.

* Requiem for a Dream - The first time I saw this movie, I felt sick to my stomach at the end. Subsequent viewings have been less visceral, but no less disturbing. Every piece falls into place perfectly here - beautiful direction (Darren Aronofsky is easily my favorite modern director), great acting (who knew that a Wayans brother could do anything other than comedy? Nice casting, that.), and superb rapid-cut editing and sound design, especially during the final act. There's really nothing wrong with this movie, other than the fact that it is so relentlessly intense that I rarely find myself in the headspace to want to watch it. Artistically, that's probably strong evidence for its inclusion rather than its exclusion, but like the Christmas movies, I kind of felt like the Top 50 should be ones that I could watch any day, any time.
The Moral of the Story: Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

* Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - I'm a little sad that Johnny Depp didn't land anywhere on my list because he's probably the best actor out there nowadays and his sense of quality control is usually pretty solid (see also: Blow, Donnie Brasco, Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands, Dead Man). And since we're paying tribute to actors, let's not forget the ever-excellent Benicio Del Toro - who does show up in the Top 50 - barely recognizable here as Dr. Gonzo. Pretty much every piece of dialogue in this movie is a quotable, portable manifesto for social deviants (ie., "As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top. And you'll need the cocaine. Tape recorder for special music. Acapulco shirts."), but this is definitely an exercise in pulling the wheat (the movie) from the chaff (the book) - Hunter S. Thompson's writing is an acquired taste, and although I love the movie, I'm not really too big on much of the narration. A worthy film, no doubt, but not quite up to the standards of the big list.
The Moral of the Story: Drugs are good, mmmkay?

* Ghostbusters - This is an ensemble film but make no mistake about it, Ghostbusters is Bill Murray's show. I like pretty much all of his movies, although I have to admit, I prefer his early populist comedy era (this, Stripes, Meatballs, etc.) to his current "serious actor" incarnation (Broken Flowers, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Lost in Translation, etc.). There's a lot more to this movie than just Dr. Peter Venkman, though: great performances from the entire cast (especially Rick Moranis as Louis Tully/Vinz Clortho, The Keymaster), a clever and relatively plausible story, a sweet car and headquarters, and perhaps the coolest theme song in movie history. Unfortunately, we watched this movie after its recent Blu-Ray release and while all the aforementioned elements stood the test of time, the special effects most definitely did not. Even judged against the standards of the then-existing technology, Gozer and the proton packs look fairly low budget and, frankly, cheesy. True, that didn't make the movie any less enjoyable, but it did make it a little less cool.
The Moral of the Story: If that swanky NYC apartment seems too good to be true, it probably is.

So there you have it, the six that just missed the cut. Coming tomorrow, we'll start the actual list with #46-50. [[justin]]